Here’s one I made earlier

I was helping my youngest to the toilet today and was reminded of an event from last year… bear with me this is a fairly tenuous link.

We have 3 boys, all primary school age or under, and this means we go through a lot of toilet roll. I mean a lot. This in turn leads to a large quantity of empty toilet roll tubes being recycled. Cause that’s how we roll!!

However last year I thought to myself: the reception age children at my sons school would probably love to build something with all these toilet rolls. I then spent a few minutes (twenty or so) reminiscing about the 4 roll high rocket I made in primary school, we’re talking poster paint and glue here, none of this cellotape malarky back then. Anyway, I decided to start stock piling them to take into school thinking: man those kids are gonna have a blast.

The day came when I had a whole bag full (took about 2 days with my boys) and I very proudly took them to school while dropping off my boys thinking: they will be so grateful that a parent has actually bothered to think of them and their need to entertain small psychotic children hell bent on dressing up as Dora the Explorer and drawing on each other with crayons.

I waited for the children to go in and caught the eye of my sons teacher. “I thought these might be of use” I said, and puffing up my chest held out the bag of tubes just ready to be transformed into trains or rockets or some other mode of cylindrical transport. The teacher in question looked very eager and almost happy that a parent had been kind enough to do such a thing until she got close enough to evaluate the length of said tubes.

Are they toilet roll tubes?” she asked?
Why yes, yes they are” I said in true Phineas and Ferb style.
Cant use them.” she said.

Dumbfounded I stood there, mouth agog in complete disbelief!!

Why?” I asked, and the reply was simple…

Health and Fcuking Safety!!

Come again?

Yes, health and safety. She went on to inform me that if I had a stack of kitchen towel rolls stored up anywhere she would be more than happy to take them off my hands, but the rules outlined by the school were that they could not use toilet rolls because… well they might be dirty I’m guessing, she never really said, and I’m not sure she was actually ever told for sure.

English: Toilet paper roll Português: Um rolo ...
Toilet rolls are bad for your health... apparently.Image via Wikipedia

Maybe I’m getting old, but I remember building things with them when I was a kid and Blue Peter in true “Here’s one I made earlier” style did it every other week it seems. Now the man from health and safety, or woman let’s not be sexist here, has decided that they are far too likely to cause contamination of these poor children’s bloodstreams with some foul and life threatening condition and should therefore be banned from the classroom.

In 10-20 years time we are going to have a whole generation of adults with such a low immunity system that the pharmaceutical companies will be raking it in and hospitals will not be able to cope.

Be warned!! The risks of banning toilet rolls in the classroom are long reaching and counterproductive.

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