I miss you

I miss you.
I’m not sure how that’s possible but it’s true.
Pained to know I’ll never have the chance to get to know you.
Memories push through, and fresh pain enters my heart.
Just another day arrives as your birthday departs.
Another year gone, another year starts,
for us, without you.
Our boy blue.

Snow fell that day.
Hoping the doctors would say go away.
Knowing that your Sister couldn’t manage to stay.
Surely there’s no way that such painful history would dare to repeat?
Not your time, your fragile body so complete.
No! I refuse to admit defeat!
Then you fade away.
It’s your birthday.

The box is white.
It’s raining and that seems only right,
as I carry you from the car and out into the light.
As we fight back the tears, and then give in, and both start to cry.
Laid to rest, time to say our goodbye.
All we can wonder is why?
You’re so light.
Sweet goodnight.

13 years,
seems a long time and yet there’s still tears.
We’re just fine, but then nothing’s really how it appears.
Heartache rears it’s head, and the memories linger and burn.
For your Mum the self doubt starts to churn,
and I see it, and I yearn,
to make her fears,

So my son,
your time ended before it had begun.
Yet although we’ll not know the man you would have become,
as the days pass one by one, know that you will be loved always and forever.
Thanks to you my blessings I’ll always endeavour,
to count, whenever,
life’s undone,
little one.

Time to go.
Time to play with your Sister in tow.
Time for us to put on our war-paint and get on with the show.
Some know, and they watch to make sure we don’t slip into that painful abyss.
Remember to give Nana all our love and a kiss,
and tell GG she’s missed.
Our love for you all will grow…
always so.


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