One thousand, four hundred and sixty one days is how long you’ve been gone.
I stood beside you, held your hand, and hoped that you could hang on.
Just one more day, just one more week, really, anything would do,
I just couldn’t see how on earth we would cope without the rock that was you.
When things kept us down you lifted our spirits, when times were tough you were there,
you knew what to say, and just how to say it, and made sure we knew that you cared.
You held us together and kept us in check, you made sure we all knew our place,
made sure we were happy and made sure we were loved, you are impossible to replace.
When there was a chance that we’d make a mistake we’d regret for the rest of our lives,
without hesitation, you made sure we knew it, thanks to you 14 years we’ve survived.
You were there for the birth of all of our boys you were there on the day we were married,
you stood in the rain with your Daughter and I as our little boy Peter I carried.
In the simplest terms you held us together, the glue to our mixed up collage
and now that you’re gone, it seems so much harder, the memory becomes a mirage.
I really can’t tell you how much things have changed, or how much I wish you were here,
You will always remain as a part of my heart, you were kind and honest and sincere.
I wish I could talk to you sometimes, and wish you could talk to Michelle,
it’s so hard to watch as she struggles each day repeatedly going through hell.
Especially now, as we look back 4 years, on the day that you passed from this life,
and remember your birthday just one day later a heart-breaking double edged knife.
But, I try to be positive, keep my head up, and think of you as you were then,
thanks to your Nan from Catherine Tate, I’ll never see squirrels the same way again.
The Dolly Parton wig, the parental unit, the Christmas Queen of all time,
in death, as in life, you’re one of a kind. Your loss nothing short of a crime.
I hope that you’ve found some peace where you are, and that all of the pain is now gone,
that your body is healed, you’re hair is not grey, that the Elaine that I knew still lives on.
I hope you can play with your 3 little grandchildren who waited for you to arrive,
I hope that your Mum and your Dad are both there, and in their love you will thrive.
Your strength and your love are the things that I now want to make sure I show to my boys.
The way that you fought and battled the pain and still held yourself with such poise,
inspires me so, and makes me determined to levels I just can’t explain.
As long as I live, I know in my heart, I’ll never forget you Elaine.