It’s Not Easy Seeing Green

What the hell is going on?

I’ve hunted high and low… but can I find one?

No, no I cant!

They are harder to find than Wally (Waldo if you’re from the US) in a red & white striped jumper factory. Thinner on the ground than acting awards for black people (topical humour, I thank you!) and less likely to be seen than the cast of TOWIE on University Challenge!!

Seriously what gives?

I am of course talking about that most elusive of things: A ripe banana in a supermarket!!

Haven’t seen this for a while!!

I get that they are buying them in so you can allow them to ripen at home and therefore not have wasted bananas going brown in a bowl somewhere, but what if I want one right now? What if I need a shot of slow release energy to get me through a weary afternoon at my desk? What if I want to play tennis? You need bananas to play tennis I’ve seen it on the telly.

I realise that this really is a first world problem and I should probably not give it this much time or effort but as I’m now getting to be a grumpy old man I feel I’m entitled to grumble as such!

I mean; have you ever tried to peel an unripe banana?

You might as well just chew the feckin’ thing in its peel for all the good trying to take it off will do you.

If you can break the seal, best done from the bottom end like the monkeys do ’cause the top’s like trying to bend steel half the time, then you still won’t get a clean peel and will instead find it breaking off mid way down and turning into something akin to a mixture of those stringy bits you get from celery and Super-glue!!

Then if you do manage to remove the peel, the fruit equivalent of solving the Rubik’s Cube, the fruit inside tastes like it’s already been through someone!!

A simple request

Wallace was glad to be over his most recent bout of Elephantiasis

Now, I’m not asking the supermarkets to stock only ripe bananas.

I understand that people buy them weekly etc and need to get to Friday without finding that the remains of Mondays bananas look more like the hand of Wallace after dealing with a severe case of both Leprosy and Elephantiasis.

But just 1 shelf of ripe bananas… is that really too much to ask?

Come on peeps, step it up!!

Soap Fruit box away.

Nighty night all.


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