Aaaarrrrgggghhhh

What to say?
Where to start?
Feel my life being torn apart.
Love is painful, but a pain I crave.
A lifeblood I struggle to keep or save.

Nothing is easy.
Nothing good anyway.
Seems destiny chooses to face me this way.
Constantly teaching one who won’t learn.
Just want to love and be loved in return.

My own worst enemy.
Making things tough.
The shit that I’ve been though just isn’t enough.
So I give myself problems.
Put my head in the sand.
Turning away when I’m offered a hand.

Still I toil and I struggle.
I fight and I die.
Every ounce of strength used, still I’m wondering why?
Why is this all so hard?
Why am I cursed?
Got the t-shirt, read the book, every chapter and verse.

Yet I still get it wrong.
I still make mistakes.
Hurt myself and my loved ones now I’m lying awake.
And I can shut my eyes, but I can’t go to sleep.
Each time I try something rises up from the deep

And my mind takes a trip.
Never settling still.
Thoughts keep on spinning, repeating until
Finally I drift off, Then with a start I awake.
Feels like two minutes but it’s 5 hours, how much more can I take?

As another day starts.
All the pain’s put aside.
Get through all the day to day shit and just hide
All the turmoil and trouble
The rift in my soul
Keep smiling and laughing, keep playing the role.

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