I Hate This Me!

I hate this me. The lazy me. No not lazy even, just apathetic for no good reason. The sit on my ass me. The do nothing good me. Hell, the do nothing me!! Advertisements

PicturesΒ 

Pictures paint a thousand words. At night, alone, these say failure. The cold air hanging above the bed like a shroud to be avoided. All the while your face fills my eye-line. Your face and mine. Happy yet distant. A time past. An expensive venture become a painful reminder of what once was. I try…

For the Best

What you see is not how I feel, My fears, my feelings I always conceal. Being strong for you is all that I know, now I don’t have to do it, I still struggle to show, the pain in my heart, the tears I hold back, knowing we’ll never just get back on track, and…

Cordial Me

Cordial Me. Watered down, diluted, the Me that you see. The Me that was Me, is the Me I should be. A happier Me. Now there’s no we I still feel washed out. For the Me you can see is a joy absentee. I hope that you’ll be happier without Me We just have keep…

Friends

We knew it was coming, yet still there’s a sting. The outcome was forecast, But now its happening. Reality sets in and truth must be met. The end of “us” my lowest point yet.

Don’tΒ 

Don’t go to sleep Tomorrow lies there. Another day gone Another begun Life on repeat The same song plays The melody familiar The tempo steady. Don’t lay your head Distract your consciousness The wonders of the age In the palm of your hand Eyes dry but weeping Cant rest, won’t stop Prevent the execution The…

1 Minute at a Time

As I turn my back on the empty space where you used to be, sleep abandons me to the cold void. My body exhausted, my mind races with no finish line in sight. Time is my enemy and my saviour. Years fly by me in a heartbeat as truths unfold in the dark of night.

A hand written note

“Please stop arguing and I wish we could be A proper family again”. The note you gave me, and your mum, as we sat, and we fought the old fight. A penny dropping hard from an extraordinary height. The thought that I’d had, that you’re coping so well, so far from the truth, it is…

Drifting

No anchor to hold me, no sails to drive me, no rudder to steer me. Cast off into a sea of emotion, unable to find my way, unable to plot my course.

Broken

Broken. Pieces scattered. Some missing. Some gone for good. Holding as much together as I can. Still not enough to keep it in though.

Unwanted Salvation

Need sleep but don’t want it. Exhausted yet fight it. Another night alone my fate. Avoid the stairs, they can’t help me. They lead to salvation… Who wants that!?

Endings

Heart breaking. All my own work. 17 years flew by. Now they fly away. Hurt beyond words. Tears uncontrollable. As they should be.